I believe there are two aspects of desire, the emotional and the physical that help explain why we act on such desires. I am not quoting a particular definition here. I choose to use my own experiences to support my case since it is hard to separate the emotional and physical element of desire in my own life. The emotional and physical feed off each other which makes both interdependent with one another and thus, making our communicative practices of desire that much more convoluted.
My list of desires is quite long. I desire both metaphorical and tangible elements of love, companionship, power, security, happiness, family, strength, success, among others that help me obtain a "perfect life." I relate my metaphorical elements to the emotional connections I have to my desires. Love and power each have their own set of performances that help me convey my emotions to others. Holding hands, a kiss on the cheek, a smile, a laugh, all communicate elements of love. I feel enjoyment, heart ache, fustrastion, confusion, and happiness during each of these loving moments in my life. Yet, power can be communicated in the same way by taking a deeper look at the performance. Who initiated the hand holding, leaned in first for the kiss, or told the first joke could potentially be seen as the more dominating, more in control, and aggressive person in the performance. I know notions of power could be complicated further but that is not the main goal of this post.
The tangible is already apparent since the hand holding and kissing would assume another person is part of the performance. I guess I could kiss myself on the hand or hold my own hand but that would not give me the same enjoyment and feelings of love that I would get from a partner. I am now hearing the song "I touch myself" by Divinyls in the back of my mind which brings about a whole new realm of performative possibilities for personal love and the physical enjoyment that would follow.
Back to the point, the physical could also be the material possessions that help communicate love. A box of chocolates, a bouquet of flowers, paying for dinner, anniversary gifts are the material items we consume to communicate our love to another in a partnership. I often feel special, happy, honored, and gidty after receiving such items from a significant other. After receiving such material love, I would give back and reinforce the love with a hug, kiss, or a smile and a thank you. The passing back and forth of these physical trinkets of affection invoke the emotional desires I hope for with love. That is how my desire for love would be sustained and reinforced until I discovered a new level of love to desire. You can call me materialistic but I call it satisfaction. I would not be the only receiver of such reinforcements either. I would equally contribute and partake in gift giving to showcase my love to my partner.
Regardless of the event, the physical elements of desire help to bring about, reinforce, and sustain my emotional desire. The same could be said for my emotional desires too. If I did not desire love along with the heart fluttering whimsicle emotions then, it would be safe to say that, I would not obtain the same type of physical support to sustain my desire for love. I don't mean to get mushy and use only love as my medium for discussing desire. Each desire would bring about a new performative dynamic between the emotional and physical aspects of a particular desire. In this case I just used the notion of love because it is a desire that most of my friends and I have and discuss at great length while drinking cups of caffeine at our local coffee shop.
These desires we have need some form of action to help solidify why we yearn for and how we would obtain/sustain such desires. It is the specific desire that drives us to act out in particular ways to fulfill the desire in our life.
Desire, what a complicated performative concept. Yet, we I cannot live with our it.
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